Wednesday, 1 April 2009

April First Sucks

I fucking hate April First.
I said it.
It’s not even a real holiday…

It's quite possibly the most retarded idea since instant mash potato yet people still insist on waiting all year for this one day for the chance to pull some half arsed prank on their mates without consequence.
The annoying thing is, it doesn’t even work…

Let’s pretend you have a delicious pack of Salt and Vinegar flavoured Pringles and I want to steal them from you. Which incidentally if you did I probably would want to steal them. But that’s not the point. The point is I wouldn’t tell you that I planned to steal them and I certainly wouldn’t be moronic enough to let it slip WHEN I intended to do this. You would be on your guard and take necessary measures to ensure the safety of your delicious snacks.

April Fools day is like that. We know it’s coming and are ready for it, so why do you bother. It’s a day that causes mass suspicion as everyone in the world is expecting everything to be some form of prank. Of course this often backfires when news stories break and people decided they are false when they are not. EG; The death of comedian Mitch Hedberg in 2005, The 1946 Aleutian Island earthquake tsunami that killed 165 people and the introduction of the AMC Gremlin in 1970. Which I might of considered a joke no matter when it was announced.

The more ridiculous aspect of the day is that we don’t even know where it came from in the first place or even why we do it. My favourite theories to explain it’s origin include the one where the people of yesteryear were randomly mocking the people who celebrated summer too early or the theory that explains that April First was the first day of the year according to the France calendar at one point until some British King decided they should use January the first like the rest of us. He decided that the best way to make that stick was to have everyone who still used April First ridiculed, taunted and labelled April Fools. I prefer the second one... but neither could be accurate.

God I’m craving some Pringles now… I wish I used something different in that example…


Naturally, you think I sound like a bitter old man having a bitter old man rant. But it’s not like you can choose weather you take part in it or not.
No matter weather I like it or not I still have to take every piece of information I receive with a grain of salt and tread carefully with my friends.
Do you know how many time’s I’ve been Rick Rolled today?
Or how many fake news articles I have read?

Anywho, I'm bored of ranting now.
Enjoy the silliness of this non holiday.
I’m off to buy some Pringles.

-- Dan

PS. Did I mention it’s not a real holiday?

PPS. The short length of this blog is my April Fools prank.

PPPS. So is the fact that this is the first blog I have posted in about a month.

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