Saturday, 29 November 2008

Funny or Offensive?

A friend of mine who shall remain nameless for legal reasons (Frankie Buttons) recently updated her blog, which I won't name here so not to redirect my traffic. (

Who am I kidding? Frankie IS my traffic.

Anywho, she recently posted about how she sometimes make's Joke's on subjects that could potentially offend people and her concerns that she does this quite alot. (
She wanted people to respond with their opinion's on the subject and being honest with you even though I wanted to respond I refuse to sign up to "livejournal" on principle (And out of laziness). So instead I'm just gonna use my blog, because I'm already registered here.

Before I respond to her points, I must admit that in recent years I have noticed that the line dictating what is and isn't in good taste has become more and more blurred. To the point now where I don't believe for a second that a comedian like Frankie Boyle would of been popular 10 years ago. The climate has changed as people have adjusted to the idea that ANYTHING can be funny in the right context. That is mostly due to how desensitized we as a people have become to the horrors and terrible things that happen in life.

Anywho, getting to my response, I don't think that anyone should feel constrained when it comes to the content of their Jokes. I mean, a joke is just that. The purpose of it being to make someone smile or laugh. It does of course depend on a few things things, like the way you construct the joke and what context you put it in. But as long as you are mindful of those things, then say what the hell you want. Anyone who is offended is clearly an ignorant cunt who doesn't have a sense of humour, and people like that deserver to be nothing but offended.

Being honest though, I don't know why I'm am bothering responding to Frankie’s post when the perfect response already exists in the form of a George Carlin stand up segment. For those of you who don't know George Carlin, you should feel terribly ashamed of yourselves right now. So hang your heads in shame, finish reading this blog and go look him up, buy his DVD's and go visit the mans grave to apologise.

Here is his thoughts on the subject. (And anyone who doesn't want to read it, you can listen to it here:

"Ohhh, some people don't like you to talk like that. Ohh, some people like to shut you up for saying those things. You know that. Lots of people. Lots of groups in this country want to tell you how to talk. Tell you what you can't talk about. Well, sometimes they'll say, well you can talk about something but you can't joke about it. Say you can't joke about something because it's not funny. Comedians run into that shit all the time. Like rape. They'll say, "you can't joke about rape. Rape's not funny." I say, "fuck you, I think it's hilarious. How do you like that?" I can prove to you that rape is funny. Picture Porky Pig raping Elmer Fudd. See, hey why do you think they call him "Porky," eh? I know what you're going to say. "Elmer was asking for it. Elmer was coming on to Porky. Porky couldn't help himself, he got a hard- on, he got horney, he lost control, he went out of his mind." A lot of men talk like that. A lot of men think that way. They think it's the woman's fault. They like to blame the rape on the woman. Say, "she had it coming, she was wearing a short skirt." These guys think women ought to go to prison for being cock teasers. Don't seem fair to me. Don't seem right, but you can joke about it. I believe you can joke about anything. It all depends on how you construct the joke. What the exaggeration is. What the exaggeration is. Because every joke needs one exaggeration. Every joke needs one thing to be way out of proportion. Give you an example. Did you ever see a news story like this in the paper? Every now and then you run into a story, says, "some guy broke into a house, stole a lot of things, and while he was in there, he raped an 81 year old woman." And I'm thinking to myself, "WHY??? What the fuck kind of a social life does this guy have?" I want to say, "why did you do that?" "Well she was coming on to me. We were dancing and I got horney. Hey, she was asking for it, she had on a tight bathrobe." I'll say, "Jesus Christ, be a little fucking selective next time will you?"

He pretty much nails my opinions of the subject in that piece. R.I.P. George, your insights into life will be missed.

What really annoys me though, are people who get offended but quite simply blow it out of proportion and take it too far. Take this news story for example.

For those of you who didn't read it, its about a comedian being sent to jail for 5 years for making fun of the pope.
5 Years for a fucking Joke?
There are muggers, paedophiles and all sorts out there.
And they wanna waste jail space for that?
Priorities people.

Anywho, enough ranting, I hope this is a satisfactory response Frankie.
And before I go, I just wanna make one last point.

Anyone else find it suspicious and annoying that Wally (Waldo to you Americans) always seems to end up in a field full of people who are coincidentally dressed in the exact same stripped outfit as him.

Sneaky cheating bastard.

Thanks for reading everyone!

-- Dan

PS: I promised myself I wouldn't annoy you guys with a PS this week so I'm not doing one.


Thursday, 27 November 2008

The Directionless Blog (AKA: I wish I hadn't posted this)

Well, since it's been a while, I wanted to write a new blog for you lovely people, but simply couldn't think of anything to write about, so here it is, a directionless blog. Just some thoughts and such.

Actually, while I'm on the subject, sorry its been so long. Had an absolute beast of an essay kicking my ass the last few weeks. Which I handed in today thank you very much. It's quite satisfying to know that no matter how rubbish it is, its out of my hands at this point. Which I admit is quite a backwards way to look at it, but my mind thinks what it thinks.

Any TV I watched this week seemed to be horror in genre. Not intentionally, that's just how it worked out. Of course living alone and watching loads of Horror isn't recommended because every damn noise I hear somehow suggests the start of a zombie apocalypse in my mind. Of course, the sound of the drunken pillocks wandering past my window and shouting soon brings me back to earth... shame really. Those twats would be much more tolerable as zombies, and quieter.

Speaking of Zombies, finally caught up on Dead Set this week. How brilliant is that show? In fact, even if it was dreadful I would tell you its great just because it includes a Zombie Davina McCall. And that's worth its weight in gold. Also, quite liked all the Jabs at Big Brother and all the thick people who watch it. Really fantastic television. Anyone thinking about watching it and not wanting to be spoiled should not read the next paragraph. You have been warned. Anyone who hasn't watched it... why not? Go buy the DVD you fool.

Really enjoyed the build up to the Zombie invasion, because it was set somewhere that exists during something I have seen myself before, that somehow made it a little more real. Also, very satisfying to see that bastard of a producer get torn limb from limb in the last episode. Odd thing is, everyone kept telling me that the ending was awful. So many people in fact, that I contemplated not wasting my time watching it since so many people seemed to dislike it. Fellow Scriptwriters as well. People who's opinion I trust. But seriously? It was a perfectly adequate ending. Come on people, its a Zombie piece. And everyone knows there are only three ways to end a Zombie piece. The protagonist either survives till the world is saved, finds a way to save the world themselves or the Zombies kill/turn EVERYONE and the world is left defeated and Zombie-tastic. Dead Set went with the latter, either killing or turning every character into a zombie. Which works perfectly well. How else could it have ended?

Actually, speaking of Big Brother, I had a brilliant idea about that earlier in the week.
What if, to fuck with the housemates heads, when eviction night rolls around instead of the doors opening and the housemates hearing either cheering or booing for the evicted housemate. What if they heard nothing but silence. Followed by the sound of a single gunshot. Taking notes channel four? I hope so, because nothing short of that's gonna bring back your audience.

Anywho, saw a brilliant license plate the other day. It read "P1MP".
As if that wasn't funny enough, the guy in the car it belonged too was at least 70.

That was pretty weird.

Well, safe to say I'm never doing this again.
What was I thinking? I have way too many stupid pointless things to say to indulge myself with a blog with no direction. You lovely people don't deserve to be subjected to such pointless garbage.

Thanks for reading anyway.

-- Dan "Never Shutting Up" Doolan

PS -
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Tuesday, 4 November 2008


It's 3:54am.
I'm watching my clock mockingly count every minute as I unsuccessfully attempt to fall asleep.
Well, not anymore. Now I'm writing this blog, so I am obviously not lying in my bed watching the clock and trying to get to sleep anymore.
Now I have given in to the harsh fact that I'm not getting to sleep anytime soon.

I'll be honest, I'm a thinker.
Alot of people think that just because I'm a big talker... that that somehow means I'm not a big thinker. I think its connected to the misconception that quiet people are quiet because they are thinkers, they don't externalise thoughts because its all going on in their heads, which must mean that people who talk alot don't have alot in their heads because they externalise all thoughts. But being honest, they are not necessarily mutually exclusive. I talk as much as I do because I think what I perceive to be an abnormal amount. I have to let as much out of my head as possible otherwise I think I would explode or meltdown or something. And as great as it is to know that I always have something to say. It would be nice to switch it off once in a while.

Especially when meeting new people and all they get from me as a first impression is that I'm just a dude who talks more than should be humanly possible. But I like to live under the illusion that even though I talk alot, there is usually a substance to my ramblings. I'm not just talking for the sake of it... but, an illusion is just that. The fact is I probably do just ramble, I appear to have very little control over it.
It's also a problem because it makes sleeping a more difficult task than it should be. On a GOOD night will take me a minimum of 1 hour to fall asleep. On a bad night I don't sleep at all. Sometimes its because they are holding illegal dog fights behind my crack-den of a building and the noise is simply too much. Or sometimes it's my overactive mind again, torturing me into yet another sleepless night.

I think it's the silence. It opens the flood gates. In the day I can let things out in little bursts through talking. I'm also distracted, and that holds me back, keeps my mind at bay to some extent. But at night when all distractions are gone and I'm lying in a dark and quiet room, my mind just goes into overdrive. Suddenly every thought is so potent and vivid that I feel as though I can't really fathom the detail of my own thoughts, but at the same time it all moves through my head so fast that I can't really latch on to any particular thoughts and keep it. It's almost like their is more information running through my head than my head can read at once, I get flashes of all kinds, portions of thoughts that slip away like a half remembered dreams. My overactive mind is an evil thing when it wants to be.

Is it insomnia? Or am I just an idiot who can't keep his mind in check?

God I hope it's not the last one, because if that's the case "not sleeping" is the last stop before my train hits crazy town. Or as my friend Scott once dubbed it "The Land of the Shoelace Impaired".

I doubt it's either. I over think.

I guess that’s just me.

Thanks for reading.

-- Dan